@OhNoSheTwitnt: Saying Trump can't be an antisemite because his daughter converted to Judaism is like saying he can't be sexist because he married a woman.
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@BradBroaddus: INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job? ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay.
@eyeswidebutt: if a bear is attacking you play dead and then play resurrection this will cause the bear to either worship u or deny ur existence
@Sarcasticsapien: This election feels like Tim Burton was writing and directing it and halfway through Quentin Tarantino took over.