@ElgatoEsmio: Saying you wanted to know where I came from is no excuse for banging my mom.
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@Maxine12333: Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair.
@GrantTanaka: Barista: name? Benedict Cumberbatch: Benedict Cumberbatch Barista [writes "Benedict Cumberbatch"] Benedict Cumberbatch: holy shit
@murrman5: where did you get them pants? [wife goes to answer but stops then narrows her eyes] you're not going as me for halloween again are you?