@Zombie_Kit: Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him.
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@Staggfilms: Me: You can't fire me, I quit! Boss: You can't quit, I fired you! Me: You can't quit me, I'm fire! Boss:... *our eyes lock and we kiss*
@junejuly12: *plans eclipse viewing party* *buys special glasses* *gets plenty of snacks and drinks* *wakes up to pouring rain* *goes back to sleep*
@iLikeCatShirts: [Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family
@Darlainky: I'm not saying that I haven't incorporated math into my adult life. I'm just saying I could've dropped out after elementary school.