@Zombie_Kit: Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him.
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@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
@JasonLastname: A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car.
@fletchworld73: So after vacuuming with the new Dyson, I'm pleasantly surprised to learn that the carpet upstairs is actually hardwood.
@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.