[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!

@TheAlexNevil: If Twitter has taught me anything it's [several hours later] time management.

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@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas

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@my_minivan_life: Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.

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@copymama: Me: Bedtime in 5 minutes! 8yo: *Begins the single most complicated crafting project of her lifetime thus far*

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@Steelers1972: Just hung a picture of Steve Buscemi over my daughters toothbrush to ensure proper brushing.

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