@kumailn: Schools should teach mandatory classes on when a phone conversation is done.
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@PJTLynch:  "Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out
@Cheeseboy22: When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" People always clap when she wakes up.
@LurkAtHomeMom: No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.