@kumailn: Schools should teach mandatory classes on when a phone conversation is done.
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@AristotlesNZ: Neighbor: Yard sale huh? How much's mower? Me: $50 Him: Wait! That's the one you borrowed from me! Me: $20 Him: Its a $500 mower! Me: ..$100
@trouteyes: Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw
@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.