@Cpin42: Schrödinger: How’s my cat, Doc?
Vet: I have good news and bad news..
@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
@bridger_w: In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don't think I can keep watching movies
@robfee: Everybody at this intervention is telling me I have a drug problem but I'm not the one with a melting eagle face & gyrating serpent arms.
@bryanmcc74: Finally I have an excuse for getting fat, heard on radio about girl who been eating in her sleep ... That's it, I've got that !
@1BigMick: If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they break into your home is smash your family pictures.