@michaelianblack: Science question: can somebody please explain how tiny, tiny swimsuits make Olympians dive better?
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@turtledumplin: My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund
@joejwest: ME: I make all my decisions by rolling dice DATE: Ok WAITER: Can I get you any drinks? ME: Yes I'll have- [rolls dice] -six beers please
@Lunatic_times: when the lady in the elevator burst into tears I did the only thing a man could do in the situation. I fell to the floor and played dead.
@mattgallo123: "Don't be shy!" -people who don't understand how genetically determined character traits work