@michaelianblack: Science question: can somebody please explain how tiny, tiny swimsuits make Olympians dive better?
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@AristotlesNZ: Coworker just asked me if I'm "working hard or hardly working" & now I'm standing over him asking if he's "bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"
@TheRohiniReddy: I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.
@Sassafrantz: [crime scene] photographer: I'm done unless you want another angle or something. detective: let's do a jumping one!
@serialmatrix: God: sends you to hell for aborting your 'child'.nGod: killed his only son.nAnd that, ladies & gentlemen, is religion in a nutshell.