@WilliamAder: Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ImmorallyFixate: Hand me the Phillips screwdriver, babe. No, the Phillips. NO. Ok look, hand me the thing you stabbed me with on New Year's. Thanks pumpkin!
@rachelaxler: it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations.
@Jake_Vig: Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?
@stockejock: You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma