@Sickayduh: Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs. I've been to the museum. It's obvious they starved to death.
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@AudreyPorne: a horror film where the victim walks into her kitchen and everyone she's muted on twitter is standing there drinking coffee
@BritishNicx: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches.
@Jessdaisy: I'm "the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room" years old
@trilldrone: "911 what's your em-" STAMPEDE "slow down sir" IN THE GORGE "sir I'm gonna need you t-" SIMBAS DOWN THERE