@TheToddWilliams: Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it.
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@ArrogantBB8: *hears your text message notification beep* *constantly imitates it so you check your phone for no reason*
@AndrewNadeau0: Wolverine was named that because he was a combination of a wolf and a nectarine I will not be taking questions at this time.
@turtledumplin: When a cop pulls you over, pull out a map and ask them for directions until they forget that they pulled you over. -me, right now
@HeatherLuvsYou: I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it "cooking"