@slimmy_shady: Scientists claim that the Big Bang was the loudest noise that has ever occured in history. They obviously haven't met my kids.
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@70Ceeks: SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "Can I buy you a drink?" Her: "I have a boyfriend." Me to barman: "A beer for me and a 'I have a boyfriend' for the lady."