@slimmy_shady: Scientists claim that the Big Bang was the loudest noise that has ever occured in history. They obviously haven't met my kids.
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@GensPlace: I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.
@DanMentos: Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive
@daemonic3: [robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag
@GingerGander: There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win.