@doccy_style: Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they're concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
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@ArfMeasures: GF: I'm leaving with the kids if you don't stop pretending our house is a hospital ME: That'll be great, we really need the beds
@bourgeoisalien: I misspelled "marriage" and Auto Correct changed it to "mirage." What do you know that I don't, Auto Correct?
@Brianhopecomedy: *bakes 12 cookies* *waits for family to come home* *eats 12* *family arrives* 5 year old: "I SMELL COOKIES!" "Weird! Here's a salad."