@downfront: Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, "Oh, hell no."
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@sarahkendzior: Found newspaper from day my son was born. Originally saved so he could see news of that day. Now saving so he can see what a newspaper was.
@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?
@ramblinma: All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.