@downfront: Scientists discover that Jupiter's moon, Europa, may be suitable for human habitation. When asked to comment Jupiter stated, "Oh, hell no."
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@KevinFarzad: When walking behind someone at night, let them know you're not dangerous by yelling "DO NOT FEAR ME" very loudly
@TheToddWilliams: [forest precinct] DETECTIVE OWL: HOO BEAR: I dont know DET OWL: HOO BEAR: I DONT KNOW DET OWL: HOO BEAR: OK I DID IT…I ATE GOLDILOCKS!
@QwertyJones3: "Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me." THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???