@Grind_n_Roll: Scientists have spliced the DNA of a human with a sea cow. Oh, the humanatee.
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@PopSlapFunk: *Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your--" Rapunzel: "I have a boyfriend." Dragon flying by: "BURN!!"
@LeBearGirdle: Friend: just be yourself. Me: Be myself? Be myself?! Some of the most successful people I know aren't myself. That's horrible advice
@HatfieldAnne: I need you guys to take my phone away from me. It’ll probably take a couple of you to do it. I'm a biter.
@sixfootcandy: Him: Let’s go out tonight. Me: It’s a work night and very late. Him: It’s 5:00PM on a Friday. Me: I’M EXHAUSTED. WHY CAN’T YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR LIKE MY FRIEND’S HUSBANDS?