@TheKegKiller: Scientists recently discovered T-Rex hunted in packs, confirming once again that we should all send that asteroid a thank you card.
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@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
@Robinbuble: I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now.
@AnkCoupleTO: KFC Team Member: Anything else? Me: More gravy please, I'll say when [several hours later] KFC TM: WE'RE GONNA DROWN M: I didn't say when
@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang