@dubiousgenius: Scientists say Spider-Man would not be able to climb vertical surfaces due to his size. It's almost like someone made the whole thing up.
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@kirbys4losers: Of course you don't know 'our song.' You didn't know we were even dating, silly. Or that the girl you had lunch with is in my trunk.
@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.
@ramblinma: I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
@badteacher4u: Strangely enough, yelling "I have a masters degree!" at this electric wine opener is not helping me figure out how to make it work. Weird.