@girl_a_whirl: [invasion]
*aircrafts dropping from the sky
*explosions everywhere
*mass hysteria
Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?
@Marcmywords2: The family you've pictured in your mind, is never the one that shows up at the BBQ.
@mortimermaiden: The soft snowflakes swirling in the night sky remind me of the time mom had too much gin and threw a roast duck at dad for taking her youth.
@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size
@TheSanch14: Boss: why do you deserve this promotion?
Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant
B: what drugs are you on?
Me: good ones
*leaves*
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