@scarebro: Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they're nerds but they should still be able to make living friends.
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@HatfieldAnne: *takes pen and notepad from psychiatrist’s hand “This’ll go quicker if you let me do it.”
@Slim_is_Fat: (Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie.
@XplodingUnicorn: Someone cut my 6-year-old's hair She says she didn't do it Be on the lookout for a mysterious hair-cutting bandit who looks just like her
@Pee_And_Giggles: My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning.