@TheTweetOfGod: "Scientology" is a combination of "scient-," meaning "science," and "-ology," meaning "science." And it just gets stupider from there.
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@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
@Shanehasabeard: Home buying tips: -Up & coming area = Murders -Good for young professional = Cheap bc of murders -Open layout = See murders from the kitchen
@Phook75: The best time to leave the country is when a demonic voice screams your name from inside a locked basement
@OtherDanOBrien: Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back