@timdonakowski: "Scolding a cat after it does something wrong has been proven ineffective" - cats
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@solomongeorgio: I was called a faggot by an angry homeless woman last night. I would've been offended but I was too busy living in a home.
@_Mo_lee_: Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p
@Pro_Jones_: (Date) Me: Sorry I have terrible anxiety and get picnic attacks. Her: You mean panic attacks? Me: *pulling basket out* Oh god make it stop
@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.