@Underchilde: *Scrawls “HELP ME, MY PARENTS ARE VEGANS!” on gas station restroom mirror*
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@jollyrobber: Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there.
@TheAlexNevil: Him: What's that, Girl? Timmy fell down the well? Lassie (sigh): Let's go over it again: 1 bark means I'm hungry; 2 means let me outside; 3
@QwertyJones3: [Trying to impress a cute girl with glasses] HER: So what kind of car do you drive? ME: A bookmobile.