@leechee420: Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
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@thatdutchperson: [remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president.
@daemonic3: [rolls down car window] "Sir there's a baby on your roof!" Wait, if the baby is there... [sees coffee strapped in car seat] Oh thank god!
@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.