@leechee420: Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
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@TheAlexNevil: *I gently close front door Dog: Where have you been?? I was worried sick about you! See that vomit on the floor? That's because of you!
@TheHyyyype: ME: my wife and i are having a baby! FRIEND: wow, that's amazing! congratulations! sex? ME: yes, that's how we made the baby...
@NikiWithIssues: I don't see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?
@xofreckles: You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?