@SaraMansford: Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it "MY way" you'd have added alcohol to your menu.
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@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before
@SortaBad: "If you approach a bear in the woods, lie down and play dead" - brilliant rumor started by lazy bears
@internetluke: [at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. "Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine" Strong smokey undertone
@hippieswordfish: CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?! CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic