@imskytrash: screw you
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@Rollinintheseat: Coworker: "How was your weekend?" Me: "You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."
@trevso_electric: The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: If I called your former boss right now and asked him- Me: *smacks the phone out of his hand* don't do that