@MrJeberling: "Screw you, my face doesn't look like that at all" - an actual duck.
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@TheTweetOfGod: If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.
@seagullski: I'm in charge of eight kids tonight. No big deal though I can be really responsib-- I'm in charge of seven kids tonight. No big deal though
@TheTweetOfGod: I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken.
@timdonakowski: Just bought a set of alphabet magnets for my fridge, so this may very well be my last tweet.