@MrJeberling: "Screw you, my face doesn't look like that at all" - an actual duck.
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@Elizasoul80: [trial] Judge: how do you plead? "not guilty" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. "he asked me to make him a pancake"
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs lamp* *genie comes out* You get 3 wishes. Just no wishing for more wishes. "I wish for more genies." I SAID NO WI- oooh, you're good.