@JamieDMJ: Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling.
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@doktorj: Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth.
@CarolineCasey: We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it.
@TheBoydP: Not to brag but my son's friend said "Your dad looks hot" when I was cleaning the pool. She followed with "Is that heat stroke?" but still.
@AbbyHasIssues: Guess who went all day without dropping food on her shirt? Not me, but I’m sure somebody somewhere did.