@JamieDMJ: Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling.
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@ilovepie84: My neighbor once said he was as healthy as a horse. Today he broke his leg so I had to put him down.
@DaddyJew: *sees gf upset* Me: she looks mad, I should say something Brain: lol tell her she's overreacting Me: ok
@TheBoydP: Fact: A good beer will not lose its label after sitting in a cooler of ice water all week. Related: Why is there still beer in the cooler??
@jlock17: I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.