@blamingboredom: Seals are just dog mermaids.
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@tuckerflodman: [Inspecting car] *kicks tire* "Mmhm just as I suspected, it can withstand a single kick."
@Cheeseboy22: BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls.
@GrumpyBahr: CW: My wedding is going to be expensive! Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!