@krissywillbretz: Searched my teens room for drugs, was told "you don't give me enough money for drugs." I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance.
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@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.
@TheRolo: [1st date] Her: I love quail Me: Omg me too! H: Love Cher M: Omg me too! H: Love men Me: Omg me too! H: Love Pepsi M: WTF is wrong with you?