@IGotsSmarts: Searching for stuff on the internet when you're drunk is called Beer Googles.
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@trutherbot: 2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat.
@Nahdude83: "Sir, how may I help you?" *swivels around in chair* -- A coffee please! "Did you bring that chair in here?" *reclines back* --- Maybe?
@abbycohenwl: "Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?" "Church?" "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers
@TheBoydP: Not to brag but growing up my boys thought a unanimous decision meant whatever mom wants.