@IGotsSmarts: Searching for stuff on the internet when you're drunk is called Beer Googles.
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@LeaMehanna: Wearing high heels and releasing doves at weddings are so last century. I'll be wearing running shoes and releasing chickens at mine
@leechee420: You can be anyone you want on twitter, so I'm a little surprised so many guys chose "creepy weird dude."
@iGreenMonk: Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! #MyProblem
@kelkulus: The Russian version of "How I Met Your Mother" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page.