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@jjhartinger: [second date]
*gets up and leaves
@Bearslietoo: The people you lose sleep over don't lose sleep over you. So, help out and drunk dial them at 3AM....
@Reverend_Scott: "So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?"
[pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs]
...I love to help animals.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: *Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System
*Czechs for ABS
@pakalupapito: isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they’re annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would’ve died like 15 years ago
@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix