@ashlar36: Secretly hoping my ex will call or text one day, just so I can reply, 'Who's this?'
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!
@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.
@michaeldyllan: Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one.