@ilovepie84: Secretly killing birds and making It look like a suicide - Windexter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@curlymalloy: Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!
@mc_funbags: People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "And why do you want to be a fireman?" So I can fire people. "That's not what a-" *clenching fists* You're gonna be first.