@AmericanGent69: *security rushes to the department store fitting room to break up a fight but just finds me trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans.
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@BillFienberg: Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned.
@realHamOnWry: Putting a light in the refrigerator is God's way of telling us that it's okay to eat before going to bed.
@Ygrene: Know why I pulled you over? "No sir" 1987, 7-11 on Main, you paid for Coke but filled your cup with Slurpee. We gotcha. We finally gotcha