@MrMichaelRose: *seductively boils hot dog* *suggestively unscrews ketchup bottle* *alluringly toasts bun* *erotically describes this in between asterisks*
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@ericsshadow: If the salesman doesn't come with me on the test drive, I just take the car home and wait for them to come get it. I have so many cars now.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: A Russian bomber was intercepted 20 miles from Los Angeles at 5:17am this morning, but no one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up.
@ilovepie84: "Sure the Decepticons are trying to kill us, but at least the price of fuel is reasonable" -Optimistic Prime.
@bestvibess: Black Friday through the years: 2005: 5am 2010: 3am 2012: 12am 2013: Thursday 8pm 2014: Thursday 2020: 4th of July