@thatdutchperson: *seductively tries to take off sock with his other foot*
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@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?
@decentbirthday: Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting