@wittwitbarista: See that sad girl up on the hill with tears ?
That's not me..I'm the one over there running away from a goose with a corn dog in my hand.
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@naazihah: "Do me a solid" just sounds like you're asking someone to poop for you and that's kinda gross.
@chapel3929: There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler
@Cheeseboy22: I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, "Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"
@SamGrittner: You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What’s not to like about birthdays?
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