@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
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@Rollinintheseat: Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making.
@AllyBallyBeal: Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more
@ThatRascalPuff: No need to write it down, I've a photographic memory *looks hard af* *pukes polaroid*