@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
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@click4amanda: HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes
@GaryJanetti: Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.
@crunkdumpster: "Well gentlemen... the steaks are high." *two steaks giggle* "Hehehe omfg he totally knows, man..."
@CheryeDavis: Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter.