@sweetg35: Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.
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@DanKCharnley: [1st day as undercover cop] *approaches drugdealer* Me: "Yes hello I'd like to purchase one crack and two marijuanas please!" *gets stabbed*
@motrboatr: Sure I'll send you a shirtless selfie. Just let me work out for 6 months real quick.
@TwistedEmbrace: I get 9" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable.
@Fred_Delicious: Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon