@sweetg35: Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.
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@osigat: <- I've been drinking for almost 6 hours. If you see something wash up on shore that looks like this, please identify me.
@longwall26: "Hello, cops? A man in an apron attacked my hair with scissors!" "LOL sir, that was a barber." "He was black." "We're sending a battleship."
@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell
@junejuly12: I have way too much responsibility for someone who still isn’t sure if 12pm is noon or midnight.