@sweetg35: Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.
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@DaddyJew: Sorry for teaching your kids to yell "STRANGER DANGER" whenever you tell them they can't have something LOL
@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
@UrbanDouchebag: Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women.
@ParentNormal: VOICEMAIL: I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, my toddler typed the wrong password 200 times so I can't try again until next year