@Book_Krazy: Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat
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@T_Bonezzz_: Her Parents: Tell us how u two love birds met Me: We were in a tweet contest & was added to a DM room & then I gave her a fake trophy HP: ..
@sploosk: THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he objectifies women ME: [trying to stuff bread into her armpit] toaster