@Book_Krazy: Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat
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@phxguy88: A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.
@myonlymizztake: I got a text from an unknown number that said "Game on." It's either a wrong number, or someone wants to wear my skin like a suit.
@meganamram: I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though