@MavenofHonor: Seems like I can't even sit on a park bench anymore without someone's henchman sneaking by to swap briefcases
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@juliussharpe: The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.
@Coastiefish: My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it "No air conditioning".
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I'm a really big cat person ME: *leans in really close* You don't look anything like a cat