@MavenofHonor: Seems like I can't even sit on a park bench anymore without someone's henchman sneaking by to swap briefcases
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@Tmoney68: Autocorrect changed "stranger" to "strangler" & it made me wonder how often I must have written about murdering people to teach it that.
@MartaEffing: [1st day in hell] Devil: Your damnation will be that you are a shoe model for all eternity. Me: That's it? D: *hands me orange Crocs*
@murrman5: [determined not to have any awkward silence during date] "so, what's your favorite part of a banana?"
@trentistweeting: Why hello, dear! "trent, did you bring cue cards to read off of during our date?" Lovely weather! "and did you only bring two?" Why hello, d