@JasonBerlin: Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.
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@AnkCoupleTO: I love picking out my wife's panties except this isn't my house and now some dudes are yelling for me to come downstairs with my hands up
@JasonLastname: My dentist recommended I sleep with a mouth guard, but I'm skeptical insurance even covers who I sleep with.
@cogentanalysis: Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can't help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.
@QwertyJones3: Wife: You're so lucky, I'm like a trophy wife! Me: Wow, I'd hate to see what they gave to the second place guy.