@rolldiggity: Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
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@UncleDuke1969: I'm white, but... Nope. Can't do one of those today. Look, I'm at a B&B on Cape Cod right now. I'm a fanny pack away from translucent.
@XplodingUnicorn: [loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.
@RidiculousSheri: I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he's in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song.