@rolldiggity: Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
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@weinerdog4life: Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
@JRevard: My bf asked me to act like a "naughty school girl" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate.
@leshnevsky: Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!