@rolldiggity: Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
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@jonnysun: a•c•q•u•a•i•n•t•a•n•c•e•s (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years
@PaigeKellerman: Parenting is having your kids reject everything you cook, and then watching the 2yo eat a dog treat and ask for another.
@KeetPotato: interviewer: "so what makes you think you'd be good at checking tickets at our cinema?" me: [picks up my résumé and rips it a little bit]