@yesitspennylane: Sees 40+ notifications. Starts to wonder if I accidentally uploaded a nude.
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@bobvulfov: [cop taps on my fogged up car window on make-out hill] ME: *alone holding a huge steamy bucket of fried chicken* what's the problem officer
@sarcasticmommy4: A fun thing about having kids is how they ask for help with their homework. On the way to school.