@yesitspennylane: Sees 40+ notifications. Starts to wonder if I accidentally uploaded a nude.
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@TheIronSherk: If pigs could fly it would make this pig catapult that I just built completely obsolete.
@JCWisdomNuggets: Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes? Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty. Server: Huh? Me: No boys. Server: Huh? Me: No thanks.
@UtilityLimb: the average person eats three spiders a year, but as you're about to find out, it takes an entire year for three spiders to eat a person
@VestaTot: There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket.