@yesitspennylane: Sees 40+ notifications. Starts to wonder if I accidentally uploaded a nude.
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@Fred_Delicious: *approaches girl in bar* *passes right through her* *i've been dead for 73 years*
@fro_vo: "hey what's that sqiggly thing on the ground?" "i don't know, it looks kinda like a w or m" -- how the worm got its name
@jlock17: Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that.
@Mindless4Miles: Me: "Breath mint?" Her: "Sure." M: "Don't mean to offend." H: "None taken." M: "Great. Good to hear. Care for a push up bra?"