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@jazmasta: *sees a cat yawning*
How the hell can you be tired?
@Quartzjixler: If by 'paleontologist' you mean I can name all 5 shapes in the box of dinosaur chicken nuggets then, yes, I am a paleontologist.
@DeborahPuette: Tough love is true love
@BurroFuma: I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help
@ThoughtOtter: [blind date]
OK don't let her know you're a remote control
"Your eyes are beau-
*sinks into seat crevice, lost for weeks*
DAMMIT NOT AGAIN
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Ugh, the coffee is too strong
Me: There is no strong coffee. Just weak people.