@CornOnTheGoblin: [sees co-worker the next day after failing to kill him on purge night] mondays am i right?
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@DillDoes: Being a worm must great. Its like "wow that dirt was great I hope there's more" and there always is
@PAT_E_ROCK: The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.
@redpawn3: I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?
@ImFunnyMang: And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month.