@CornOnTheGoblin: [sees co-worker the next day after failing to kill him on purge night] mondays am i right?
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@FatherWithTwins: 8yo: I want to paint my pumpkin this year! Me: Cool, what color? 8yo: Orange! Me: 8yo: Me: *pours drink* Let's do it
@SardonicTart: How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start? According to my neighbor it's 458 times.