@LosLos__: [Sees cute barista]
I'll have a quickie.
Barista: Sir, it's called an espresso.
@El_nacho_Nigre: Legend has it if u whisper IKEA 3x in the mirror an extra screw will appear & you'll be haunted by the piece of furniture you ill-assembled.
@OneLastStranger: Brains are awesome... I wish everyone had one.
@ThatBrenna: West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm.
@Mouthy_: Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers.
@Jake_Vig: ME: So. You from around here?
HER: Yes. You're in my bedroom closet.