@PajamaBenLaden: *Sees old 1987 ford mustang and gets in* Lets see if this baby still works *pulls baby out of backpack* *baby cries* Great! *Puts it back*
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@10InchesPlus: "Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever
@WarrenHolstein: Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much.