@PajamaBenLaden: *Sees old 1987 ford mustang and gets in* Lets see if this baby still works *pulls baby out of backpack* *baby cries* Great! *Puts it back*
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@rickkondell: It's nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he's getting hit by a train.
@Mr_Kapowski: "The princess dies. And then the people trying to save her die. Dragon guarding the castle? Dead" - Bedtime at George R.R. Martin's house
@EndhooS: Lecturer: The human body is made up of 60% water Me: Oh god... Lecturer: *rolls eyes* What is it now? Me: [drowning somehow] I CAN'T SWIM