@Ristolable: Seize the day. Attack the week. Murder the month. Approach your life in a generally violent way.
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@PaperWash: me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived
@AndyAsAdjective: Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
@KeetPotato: me: "what is a librarian's favourite food?" dog: me: "SHUSHI lmao" dog: [starts putting his toys in suitcase]