@sfreeze6: Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September.
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@Snarfernini: You're nice, cute & single? Can you introduce me to your friend who looks like he'd never return my texts? Yeah the one with the girlfriend.
@goldengateblond: "We had unprotected sex. Give us a present." -- the subtext of every baby shower
@VeroniKaboom: "He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I'd totally hit that."
@AlsBoy: Guys, don't let this headphones thing mislead you, women that aren't wearing them probably don't want to talk to you either