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@iMakeUIaugh: selfie game
@thenatewolf: Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
@juliussharpe: I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid.
@SufficientCharm: That burrito didn't agree with me.
And then I was like "Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"
@Book_Krazy: No thanks, toilets that flush.
@zwina_summer: Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he's on his way home from work.