@kellysdf: Send a guy to the grocery store without a list, and you deserve whatever you get.
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@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.
@TheDairylandDon: No, Grandma. Still not married; but the lady in the Popeye's Chicken commercials keeps calling me "Honey" so we'll see where that goes.
@rickolantern: My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks