@kellysdf: Send a guy to the grocery store without a list, and you deserve whatever you get.
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@hippieswordfish: absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh
@: I once tried to the Dirty Dancing lift with my cat but it turns out Mr. Mittens isn't very strong.
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Hit the light. *flicks switch (wrong light) *flicks another (fan) *flicks (disposer) *flicks (nothing) *flicks (some light in Canada)